Welcome to the team. I’m leaving.
Career development is a core component of every executive manager’s job – both your own and the careers of those that you guide and grow. We know that we aren’t spending a lifetime with a particular company. We are here to do a job – a good job. And when that job is done, we will move onto the next job. That’s how the system works.
So, why is leaving a job still so hard to talk about?
One of the most fascinating things about my time in consulting was how often and openly people talked about leaving consulting - even with the Partners of the firm.
Strategy consulting is hard. You’re working on some of the toughest abstract business problems with some of the worlds most experienced and powerful executives. This means very high pressure to over-perform – 14+ hour workdays as standard, high demands on your personal development, and immense pressure to make sure everything that comes out of your mouth is valuable. It’s hard. And most people don’t sign up to do it for very long. When I was in strategy consulting, the average stay was 2.5 years. Consultants work their time, get the exposure and accelerated learnings, and move onto the next job.
So, people talked about leaving all the time. There was an immense maturity about the whole approach. You were expected to leave. The conversation was focused on why, when and how.
The Why centred around “have you gotten what you wanted to out of this chapter?” Was it worthwhile? And do you know what you want to do next? Are you starting your next chapter deliberately and constructively to progress?
The When links to the why – Is there anything left to learn or get exposure to before you go? If you wrote another couple of pages, would it round out the chapter in your story better?
The How was all about collaboration! Working together to make the exit, transition and next chapter a success. All senior consultants and Partners opened their personal black books to you. Questions like “Who do you want to talk to to inform your decision making?” and “What kind of opportunities are you looking for? Right, I know a woman who…”.
"It was a successful chapter - so let’s round out the chapter and make it one worth reading – for both of us."
I reckon this is one of the least acknowledged ways of working in strategy consulting. It’s unfortunate because it’s very powerful.
The biggest lesson for me, personally, was that we talked about leaving the day we started. That normalised the conversation. Typically, in business, we start a new role pledging allegiance to our new boss, team and company. We learn about the origin story, the values, the company mascot, etc etc. We strive to fit in and be accepted. And, kind of like dating, talking about leaving would be a buzz kill.
Or would it?
An intricate part of my introduction to any new member of the team, is what I do. Not my job descriptions, those aren’t worth the paper they are virtually written on. I mean what the essence of my leadership story is: “I am here to build a high performing team to achieve a medium-term objective in the context of a cohesive company strategy I helped craft. Once the team, systems and processes are set up for scalability, I will hand over to someone more suitable to run the business. This typically happens when the team gets to around 50 people managers or so. But, in the context of this company, Ill keep you posted. Then Ill go somewhere else and do it again.”
This narrative does a couple of things:
It shows that I have a self-aware, deliberate and effective personal plan that has mutual and transparent benefits for all. Something I strive to help my team members build for themselves while working with me.
It shows I know my strengths and will structurally change the game when we get into a space where I can’t perform at my peak. Again, crafting this with my team members is a key part of my management duties.
It sets the tone for mature candour. We are both adults. Neither of us will be here forever. So, let’s talk about it and make it a worthwhile chapter together. This is how you can expect me to engage on any and all tough subjects – like an adult with both of our best interests at the forefront of OUR decision making.
And, last but not least, it role models the right positively-focused and mature engagement on leaving and crafting the next chapter. It role models how to proactively talk about difficult topics - transparently and with good intentions - before they get clouded by emotions.
Needless to say – I have never been surprised by one of my manager’s resignations and they have never been surprised by mine. We may be disappointed that the time has come, but never surprised or caught unaware.
As you can see, having an authentic and thoughtful leaving conversation at the start of a professional relationship has benefits FAR beyond the obvious. It takes some getting used to for some personality types, but it opens the door to deep, trust-based relationships that will be infinitely rewarding to you and your team members.